I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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