I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Pooping to opera.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize