Kiss
Puke
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
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Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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