he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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