I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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