It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm both gender and math confused
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize