She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize