I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize