Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
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The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
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It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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