wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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