He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
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