I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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