it glows. i had to have it.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize