If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just has baby written all over it
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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