I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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