woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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