I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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