omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize