Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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