new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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