the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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