this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Life is so much better after having sex.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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