That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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