wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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