also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We need a shit load of segways right now
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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