I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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