bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize