People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
