Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
