he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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