Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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