I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just threw up on my dentist
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize