I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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