Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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