carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
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Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
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I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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