would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
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The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
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It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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