If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize