How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
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Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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