hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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