Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
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My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
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Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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