Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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