I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
cat food counts as protein by the way
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i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
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I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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