Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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