Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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