I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize