and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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