I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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