Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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