i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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