sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
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best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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