batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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