Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are going to name an STD after you.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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