her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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